I talk a lot about the words we use and the stories we tell as indicators of current mindset. Words have powerful energy that sets the tone for how you think about yourself and others. And stories are a string of words that conjure up images and and emotions rooted in perceptions that can ultimately become beliefs about yourself and your reality.
For years I have heard how we create our own reality. And I believe this to be true. But the thing I've struggled with the most is how. If this is my reality how did it come to be? What did I do or say or think to create this present existence?
It's a lot easier to understand and accept my reality when things are going well than when they aren't. Of course, if I have created my own reality, then I've created both the good and the bad. But why would I consciously create bad experiences for myself?
One reason is because of the words that I use and the stories I tell. For example, if I believe when things are going well, something bad is likely to follow, because I've told myself the story that too much of a good thing is bad, or that what goes up must come down, then I'm creating the unconscious expectation of a roller coaster existence with consistent ups and downs. On the surface, this might sound like an average, typical life. A life we've been conditioned to believe is normal.
But what if all of that conditioning is poppycock? What if we were conditioned to believe these things to prevent us from becoming greedy, or selfish?
While probably well intended, there is a down side to this way of thinking. We learn to believe that it isn't acceptable to shoot for the stars. That it is not okay to allow and even expect the best every time over a balance of the best and the worst. That to want the best for yourself is selfish and that putting yourself first is bad.
What if that's where the balance can truly reign supreme? The balance of expecting the best every time AND bouncing back quickly if your expectations aren't always met. The balance between caring for yourself AND caring for others.
This ties in to the other reason reality can be tainted with 'bad' experiences: How you choose to perceive them. And I do believe this is a choice, but only once you've pulled it into your consciousness. Until then, your perceptions lurk in the shadows of your unconscious mind, pulling the strings without your consent.
It may take some effort, especially at first, but looking for the silver lining of what seems like a negative experience can help you to consciously choose optimism. And trusting (and choosing to believe) that things always work in your favor can take you through even the most challenging situations. Because sometimes we can't always see the good in something until it's behind us, but knowing things are in the works for good things to appear in our reality sheds a different light to life's challenges. And that light is your new reality. The one you choose to create.
Questions: What words or stories do you tell yourself when things aren't going as planned? Are they empowering and supportive or critical and callous? What words and stories can you tell that shed a positive light on your current reality? What new reality do you want to create and what words and stories can you use to more closely align with it?
If you're ready to create a new reality for yourself, Magical Mind - a 4-week online program currently in the works - can help. Or if you'd prefer some 1:1 guidance, give Detanglement Coaching a try.
Change is always easier with support, so if you've got a change in the works but aren't ready to commit to a program or coaching, please find people who can support you in a positive and uplifting way, to help make your transition a smooth and positive one!
Mindset Monday is a weekly blog that consists of a quote, a comment and one or two questions. It is intended to be short but sweet while providing you with something to ponder related to mindset as you begin your week. Mindset is a choice. Make yours an amazing one!
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