This may be one of the most challenging lessons in life to learn. That it's not the destination, but the journey that is at the heart of happiness. Many of us, especially in American culture but others too, have been conditioned to focus on the outcomes. The achievements. The grades and degrees. And winning.

And because of this, the journey often feels tedious. Grueling. Hard. Yes, sometimes things are, in fact, challenging. And sometimes we don't want to do them. Which makes it all the easier to focus on the outcome instead of remaining in the present where we're faced with potential drudgery.

Yet focusing on the future allows for things such as worry and fear to seep in. What if I don't finish? What if I can't do it? What if I'm not good enough? What if I fail?

These are real fears, but many of them can easily fade away when you actually do that which is in front of you right now.
Procrastination represents the manifestation of those fears into physical form. We'd rather do just about anything than that which conjures up the unsettling feelings we face when thinking about the daunting task ahead of us. ​

At times, procrastination can serve a positive purpose, but that is not the case when it is created from fear. Then its only purpose is to amplify those fears until you reach the crossroads of pushing through it or failing. And all along the way, where is the joy?

Instead, why not take a step back and find the something good in the moment and in whatever it is you are resisting. What can you find that is interesting, or a learning opportunity, or that represents the reason you've endeavored to do this thing in the first place? 

​The more you are able to strengthen this muscle of experiencing joy in all that you do, the more you will also be able to find lasting joy in the outcomes.

Questions: Where are you focusing on outcomes and either dreading or procrastinating on the journey to get there? What things can you find within the journey to enjoy along the way?

.oOo.

If you're having a hard time finding your joy, Magical Mind - a 4-week online program currently in the works can help. Or if you'd prefer some 1:1 guidance, give Detanglement Coaching a try.

​Change is always easier with support, so if you've got a change in the works but aren't ready to commit to a program or coaching, please find people who can support you in a positive and uplifting way, to help make your transition a smooth and positive one!

Mindset Monday is a weekly blog that consists of a quote, a comment and one or two questions. It is intended to be short but sweet while providing you with something to ponder related to mindset as you begin your week. Mindset is a choice. Make yours an amazing one! ​

Last week I wrote about the fear of making mistakes, and how this fear often relates to a larger fear of rejection.
Emerson's quote hinges on that sentiment, in that it takes real strength and courage to move beyond the pressure of friends, family and society to walk your own path instead of conforming to what they want.

This pressure from others isn't just perception, it is also an energy. There are subtle energies that are hard to see but are very influential in our lives, and one of the ways they show up is through peer pressure and group think.

When someone encourages you to do something you don't want to do, a vibrational dissonance occurs. And when that person is someone you care about, an additional energetic bond is present that enhances that dissonance, sometimes to the point of intense discomfort. This becomes even more uncomfortable when there are more than one person willing you to buy-in to their way of thinking.

It's natural for most of us to want to resolve that dissonance in favor of harmony. But doing so in favor of other people's interests rather than our own comes at a price. Yes, the energetic pull is stronger to comply, but only in the moment. Once you are alone with your own energy, your soul's voice - your truth - starts to filter back in.

When you've thrown yourself under the proverbial bus in favor of the interests of others, you feel it. It often rears its head in the form of uncertainty and doubt. You may feel conflicted, or wobbly, possibly moody. Why? Because you're off center. You're leaning towards the interests of others instead of centering within your own.

To break free of this energy can feel like ripping velcro apart. But there is one magical concept that can make this process much easier to enact and endure: Conviction.

Conviction means you're 100% invested. There is no doubt in your mind that this is what you must do. It's an all or nothing proposition. There is no 98% in favor, 2% unsure or against.

​Because if there is any shred of doubt in the path you want to take, a crack is formed in which that energetic pull of doubt and the interests of others begin to seep in. The more doubt you have, the greater the crevasse, which is why so many people make bold decisions that they then backtrack from later. It's because they lacked conviction.

Conviction isn't easy to come by. That's why Emerson wrote it's the greatest accomplishment. Stepping into something fully and completely can feel like rejection to others, and they don't like that. They feel that way because you're releasing the energetic chords that they've unconsciously tried to attach to you by standing in your own energy through and through.

Once you've managed to embody conviction though, something amazing happens. Things magically fall into place in your favor - people as well as experiences. All of a sudden, with little, if any, resistance, people accept your choice. Opportunities begin to emerge. The path that you thought you'd have to forge alone suddenly begins to show definition. And all because you stepped into your choice and made up your mind. How awesome is that?!

Questions: Where in your life have you felt pressure to conform to the interests of others? How would you gauge your level of conviction in those situations? What's preventing you from reaching 100%?

.oOo.

If you're experiencing doubt or having a difficult time stepping fully into your choices, Magical Mind - a 4-week online program currently in the works - can help. Or if you'd prefer some 1:1 guidance, give Detanglement Coaching a try.

​Change is always easier with support, so if you've got a change in the works but aren't ready to commit to a program or coaching, please find people who can support you in a positive and uplifting way, to help make your transition a smooth and positive one!

Mindset Monday is a weekly blog that consists of a quote, a comment and one or two questions. It is intended to be short but sweet while providing you with something to ponder related to mindset as you begin your week.
​Mindset is a choice. Choose an extraordinary one!

I write a lot about social conditioning. The things we've learned to believe, to embrace, to fear, and how many of those things were taught to us by people who were trying to help. People who may have cared for us and probably didn't recognize that their own perspectives influenced the way they viewed the world and how it operates.

One of the things that a lot of people were conditioned to fear - myself included - is making mistakes.

Author Joseph Conrad mentioned something similar to this sentiment, "Only those who do nothing make no mistakes." Since I am on a crusade to bring positive language back into popular use, let's turn this around to read, those who do things make mistakes.

It's a part of life. If you're going to do something, mistakes are a part of the process. After all, we made mistakes when learning to walk and talk. We made mistakes when learning to read, write and do math. And we make mistakes today.

​The only difference is, it's a lot harder to admit because so many of us have been taught that making mistakes are bad, and tend to lead to rejection when we make one. We try to blame someone - anyone - for it, so we aren't the one receiving the finger of accusation, and since we're not to blame we remain accepted by the hive.

But what if instead of running from mistakes, we, like Fiona Apple, embraced them? Does that mean we go out and make mistakes intentionally because we can? Maybe.

Take the entrepreneur, author and speaker Jia Jang.
​
He felt rejection at an early age and then noticed as an adult that he was too fearful to pursue aspirations he had in his teens because of fears around rejection. With that realization he became determined to turn that fear into opportunity. Here is what he did.

Yes, mistakes and fear of rejection can be paralyzing, but only if you allow them to continue to run your life. The foundations for these fears only retain their power because they have been accepted as fact. But these 'facts of life' are based on old information that, once upgraded with a new and improved viewpoint, can be archived and replaced by more empowered approaches that better serve you today.

Questions:​ What is your view of making mistakes? Do you run from them or embrace them? If fear of mistakes and rejection hinder your life, what actions can you intentionally take to turn those fears around?

.oOo.

If you're challenged by perfectionism and a fear of making mistakes, Magical Mind - a 4-week online program currently in the works can help. Or if you'd prefer some 1:1 guidance, give Detanglement Coaching a try.

​Change is always easier with support, so if you've got a change in the works but aren't ready to commit to a program or coaching, please find people who can support you in a positive and uplifting way, to help make your transition a smooth and positive one!

In thinking more about it, even though the two sentiments seem similar, I believe there is a subtle difference between them:  Belief.

The underlying belief with 'fake it til you make it' is that in order to achieve something, one must first pretend to already be or have it. This is inauthentic, and can create misalignment between your head and heart. And even if you're able to convince yourself that it's okay to pretend or be inauthentic, your heart knows better.

Plus you put your focus on your external environment instead of on yourself. 'Making it' is an outcome. A goal. An aspiration. Something we hope will happen. 

Questions: Are there areas in your life where you feel out of alignment between how you're thinking, feeling and showing up? If so, what steps can you take to focus more on believing in your inner capacity with less reliance on the end result? 

.oOo.

If you're challenged to shift out of imposter syndrome and step into your personal power, Magical Mind - a 4-week online program currently in the works can help. Or if you'd prefer some 1:1 guidance, give Detanglement Coaching a try.

​Change is always easier with support, so if you've got a change in the works but aren't ready to commit to a program or coaching, please find people who can support you in a positive and uplifting way, to help make your transition a smooth and positive one!

Mindset Monday is a weekly blog that consists of a quote, a comment and one or two questions. It is intended to be short but sweet while providing you with something to ponder related to mindset as you begin your week. Mindset is a choice. Make yours an amazing one! ​